Oak Tree Academy is wondering, when did it become funny to make fun of, scare, or belittle your children for minor annoyances?

5/20/2019

Wowzers...that's a whopper of a title, right? Nothing else felt quite right when we were thinking about this post. Let us explain how we got here.

A couple of days ago, we got a Facebook suggestion for a video the Facebook algorithm we may enjoy. We could tell by the thumbnail made it apparent that it was somehow related to parenting and was posted by a page that we’d never heard of before, but intrigued we decided to give the video a look-see. It hadn’t played for more than a minute when we realized it wasn’t our cup of tea. It showed a Mom pulling up to school drop off and losing her mind when her child can’t jump out of the car. He has taken his shoes off. The mom has a meltdown. First, we want to be clear; we understand that parents are first and foremost, human beings, they aren’t superheroes or feelingless creatures who are unfazed by everything they encountered. However, we can’t imagine screeching like a wounded owl because our child isn’t flying out of the car at school drop off, under the headlines, “End of School Drop Off Be Like” We completely missed the humor. We took a quick scan through the comments and noticed another mom who seemed to have the same reaction. She wrote, “I don’t get it I was a mom of three, and I don’t remember yelling and screaming like that especially trying to get out of the car nice” Then, we noticed a nasty clapback that the page owner posted in response. She wrote,

“You must be an amazing mother with perfect children.
I look forward to your book.”

We are sorry, but what? Talk about a clapback. Yes, we live in a digital age where keyboard warriors run amuck but is this how you’d respond to a customer? Is this how we have decided to support other parents? As a social media influencer, you depend on those people following your content to buy whatever products you are hawking (which we will get to later). We thought, “Ok, maybe this person is having a bad day?” Again, we are all human. We decided to post a response. Here is what we wrote to original Mom with:

“I thought the same thing and realized this isn’t my kind of account, despite the FB suggestion. I hope you unfollowed after getting a swipe like that in response.”

We weren’t too surprised when we got tagged by the page owner with the following response:

“I LOVE when people announce they are unfollowing me. It means I’m striking nerves and bringing up issues that some people are uncomfortable with. Parenting is hard. We struggle. This page is a community for people that choose to laugh and find humor in the madness. There are many wonderful pages that are lollipops and filters this isn’t one. “

For starters, we were never following this account. We follow accounts like #IMomSoHard, which we highly recommend, who share funny moments about motherhood without insulating their children or other parents. We don't need to follow accounts that showcase parents acting like toddlers who missed their nap time. There isn’t anything humorous about yelling at a kid. This video reminded us of the overwhelmed mom, who was up all night with a crying daughter or son who couldn’t complete their assignments because they are reading so far behind their neurotypical peers. It brought up memories of all the times we’ve attended IEP meetings where teachers, administrators, and guidance counselors lamented about all of a child's lack of somethings. We cringed thinking about emails we'd received outlining a million ways a child had done something abhorrent to the teaching staff.

It reminded us that kids don’t deserve to be screamed at because a mom wants them to move faster or their lacking executive function skills
are causing her distress.

Finally, this disturbing influencer is 100% right, our nerves were rattled because we remembered all the crying parents, including our own exasperated, weeping moments because our kids are struggling to stay afloat and there doesn’t seem to be any way for us to save them. Parenting is hard, we agree, and it is hard when you must fight with the school for your child to receive fundamental rights, like the right to learn to read. Imagine that is something you must fight daily. Seems much more challenging than the fact that your kid didn’t have shoes on when you pulled up to parent pick up.

Finally, if you are finding humor in a video of this nature, which many of the commenters did, we feel sad. Social media seems to be desensitizing us to the plight of other parents. We should be there to lend a hand when we see a parent who is circling the drain or breaking down. We need to stand together and make sure that all our children are getting an education that is appropriate and is meeting their unique needs. I am not supporting this type of media, sorry, hard pass.

P.S. We have a simple tip if you are that parent that is losing all your marbles because your kid took off his or her shoes…