Dream crusher.

I belong to a Mom group and recently a mom asked the other Moms for suggestions on creative or proven ways to come up with more money. I jumped right in because through both ways, I have paid for college and for expensive summer programs for my child.  I have had some really great, albeit challenging, experiences with getting things done. 
For example, we were once lucky enough to get accepted to a summer program for kids with dyslexia. The caveat, it was going to cost us a minimum of $7,500. Now, good on you if you have that chunk of change lying around, but we didn't. However, I knew it was paramount to our child's success that we figure out a way to pay for it. Here is what we did:

• Side Gigs: Both my husband and I picked up temporary side gigs. He put $1k in the pot and so did I. ​
• Scholarships: We applied for and received a scholarship from the school for $1500. We didn't stop there, I went to the local library and did research in the Foundation Center's grants for individuals. I put together a list of scholarships and grants I thought we'd qualify for. I sat down and wrote a very factual, but heartfelt letter explaining our situation. I included a photo of our child to help them see who they would be helping. 
  Out of the 10 applications we sent out, most said "no", but one said they'd be honored to contribute and sent the school a check for $1500.

In less than two weeks, we were over half way to our goal of reaching the $7,500 we needed

But, we still had to come up with the extra money, which was going to take a bit more ingenuity. Here is what we did:

• Ebay, Craigslist, Yard Sale: We scoured the house for anything, worth anything that we could sacrifice or we were not using. It was super hard, because like everyone we'd made some unnecessary purchases. But our mistakes turned out to be our fortunate because we were able to make another $500 by selling our stuff. 
• Bill Negotiating: I called every company we had an account with, credit cards, cable, mortgage, everyone we were going to have a bill from and ask them for help. This was able to free up money we would have used to pay a bill. We were another $500 toward the balance. 
• Cheap Eats: A quickly google search turned up a long list of cheap meal ideas. Remember, I never said this was easy, I just said I was determined. We spent a couple of weeks on a less than glamorous diet, but it wasn't that bad and many of the recipe have stayed in our dinner rotation. Plus, we put ourselves on a boycott from all eating out, coffee splurges or anything that detracted from the pot. 
  

I am very pleased and proud to say that through our frugality and creativity, we did come up with the money in time for the program and it was as impactful as we had hoped. At this point, I would imagine you are wondering why this post is called Dream Crusher, if the story is about the exact opposite. It is because the Mom I mentioned in the opening, received a litany of other Moms offer dream crushing suggestions:

1. "Sit your child down, it is just not possible."
   What lesson are we sharing with our kids if we give up without even an iottta of an attempt at trying. I call bogus on this piece of parenting. To quote the charming and motivation Marie Forleo, "Everything is Figureoutable."
2. "If you only have one child, you may be able to do it, but with more than one, you have to divide your time and energy. Not everything is possible."
   Um, what? My Mom had four kids and I don't recall her every telling us to "buzz off" (even if she wanted to) because one of our siblings had used up all her allotted daily time, love, and energy!
   
3. "Sit her down and explain, he/she, must pick another school, one that is more affordable." 
   I get it, college is expensive, but is this really the solution. However, about suggesting as a high schooler and the summer before college, he/she take some community college course or better yet, and less expensive, use Straighterline to take transferable credits online or if your son or daughter is a good test taker, taking the CLEP exams. 
   Better yet, contact financial aid and file an appeal. What harm is going to come from asking for more money!? Zero and on the opposite side of the spectrum, you may end up with a bigger financial aid package. 
   

Bottom line:It isn't a parents job to be a DREAM CRUSHER, it's our job to do everything we can to make DREAMS HAPPEN     

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What do you think? Should your kids tone down their expectations to make parenting easier? When is enough, enough? Share your thoughts in the comments below?